Cooking For Cretins

Warning: This Cookbook is for the Culinary Challenged.

Ever stared blankly into your fridge hoping that a meal would magically prepare itself? Ever set off the smoke alarm just by boiling an egg? If you've ever felt personally victimised by a recipe that calls for more than three ingredients, welcome to your salvation: Cooking for Cretins.

This isn't your typical cookbook. Here, you'll find dishes that are so easy, you'd have a hard time messing them up even if you tried. Graham, your unpretentious guide to the world of pots, pans, and panic, has got your back.

Cooking for Cretins offers you a reprieve from the culinary complexities that plague those high-falutin' cookbooks with their exotic ingredients and precise measurements. Here's what you can expect:

• Simple Staples: Learn how to whip up a cheese toastie without burning down the house or discover the joys of spaghetti that doesn't resemble rubber bands.
• Budget Bites: Whip up meals that are cost-effective and nearly chef-worthy (well, almost). Say goodbye to overpriced supermarket salads and hello to home-cooked mediocrity.
• Bonus Swear Words: For when the toast does burn, Graham offers a colourful array of expletives that are therapeutic to shout and might just make you feel better.

From one culinary disaster to another, Graham takes you on a no-frills, laughter-filled guide to cooking. Whether it's mastering the art of not turning pasta into mush or figuring out that you can, in fact, microwave more than just ready meals, this book is your go-to for kitchen survival.

So, tie on your apron (it's that cloth thing you once bought on a whim), arm yourself with the least dirty spatula, and let's tackle cooking one chuckle at a time.

Remember, you might not earn any culinary awards with dishes from Cooking for Cretins, but you'll surely win at feeding yourself without any fancy flairs. Let's get cooking-because even cretins need to eat!