Grief: A Dark, Sacred Time

Reviewed by Romuald Dzemo for Readers' Favorite. Grief: A Dark, Sacred Time by Darrelyn Gunzburg discusses surviving loss and finding strength and meaning in the dire moments when we traverse the dark waters of grief. No matter our status in life, we do get hit by grief when we lose a loved one and this author looks at the nature of grief as it visits children and adults and explores its different faces and how it impacts our lives. The book answers some of the challenging questions we face: Can we deal with the loss? Can we grow through it? Can the void we feel in our hearts be filled again and how? But how do we deal with the debilitating sense of loss that haunts us when someone dies? In language that is clear and in a compassionate tone, Darrelyn Gunzburg provides practical and astonishing answers to these questions and shows readers how they can grieve for loved ones without losing their sanity and their grip on life. I have had my share of losses in life: a father dying in an untimely way, losing my youngest brother in an accident, and losing some of the people who have been very important in my life and I felt lost during the long periods of grieving that followed the losses. I wish I had read this book at that time because it gives the reader perspective and tools to deal with the pain. Grief: A Dark, Sacred Time is a beautiful book and it clearly shows a reader that losing someone dear isn't the end of life but that it can open a new door for them to appreciate life in an even deeper way. Written in a confident and engaging voice, it is filled with insight and compassion, a book we should read and revisit, even before losing someone dear to us. Part of me wondered why I would want to read another book about a condition that is still an everyday part of my life. Why wallow? What have I not read on grief and bereavement in the past year that does not reduce a sacred experience to a list of blobbed 'stages' and action-packed how-tos on the soulless conveyor belt of packaged compassion? In contrast, 'Grief' is a nuanced blend of the academic and empathic, shaped by an intelligence that we soon sense has shed tears over loss and come to a resolution through reflection. Some measure of distance allows for fresh perspectives on the nature of the grieving process while the author's beautifully written insights are drawn from the mindful heart, not a textbook or hospital folder. ; "Grief is the price we pay for living a full life," Gunzburg writes at one point; the price of loving someone and caring for them - one of the precious experiences that gives real meaning to life. Grief in this sense is a painful sign of success of another order, a reward even, if we can accept it as part and parcel of renewal or rebirth on our mortal trip. ; An early section on ancient myths and grief locates a timeless wellspring of wisdom for further self-understanding "Myths are not simply stories told to please children," writes Gunzburg... "Today, myths continue to illustrate human qualities and behavioural attitudes that remain unchanging over time...inviting us to reinterpret or even change the endings through our own wisdom.";'Grief' does include practical advice on coping with bereavement and learning how to grieve. And there are two priceless chapters on parents and grief and children and grief. Though no religion or philosophy is espoused, between the lines we sense a universal spiritual perspective in the liminal space of making sense of loss and rediscovery. We are not machines with simple reset buttons; we need to live the process before recovery. 'Grief' is a book which should be adopted by bereavement organisations worldwide. Victor Olliver; "In the West, we still find it difficult to talk about death. This powerful and much-needed book confronts the many faces of loss head-on, and will help to initiate the deep, intelligent and nurturing conversations we need to heal and move through grief - everyone should read this" Stephen Gawtry, Managing Editor, Watkins Mind Body Spirit magazine; "This book brings me to my knees" Claudia Johnson