Crying Scarlet Tears

A moving personal account of an eight-year struggle with self-harm, with insights into motivation and paths towards recovery.

Sophie was a nice Christian teenager, the much-loved daughter of decent hardworking parents. One night she came back from babysitting and, almost without conscious motive, hit her leg with a coathanger. Then she tried whipping herself with a belt. The following day she scratched her arm repeatedly with the point of a compass. The sensation produced a warm sense of wellbeing, a release of tension. Thus began an eight-year struggle to conceal what was happening from her parents and friends; to reconcile this addiction with her faith; to find a stronger sense of self-worth; to find healing. Slowly, with lapses, she learned to identify the triggers and to realise that Jesus does not reject the self-harmer. Today Sophie works with teenagers and has considerable insight into how this very common problem can be tackled.