Autonomy-Supportive Parenting

If the idea of being a smart, trusted, and independent person appeals to you, think how much it appeals to other people—like your kids. Here's a book that makes the case for giving your kids the space and support to explore, stumble, and succeed. Because, alas, they all go together.—Lenore Skenazy, president, Let Grow and author of Free-Range Kids
Essential reading for any parent wanting to raise an independent and confident child. Dr. Edlynn not only delivers a science-based framework, she does it in a relatable way that makes you feel understood and empowered instead of blamed and guilty. Autonomy-Supportive Parentingexpertlyblends science and real life to offer an invaluable and practical roadmap for parents to parent with their best selves and raise children who know their best selves too. This parenting book is a game-changer and will surely earn a permanent spot on the shelf!—Michèle Borba, Ed.D., educational psychologist and author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine
Autonomy-Supportive Parenting is the exact playbook parents need to raise independent, capable, and connected kids. Dr. Emily Edlynn describes the ideal alternative to “helicopter” or “hands-off ” parenting by offering concrete examples and spot-on scripts at every step of the way. Grounded in research, yet written for real life, this clear, comprehensive, and practical guide is a must-read for parents everywhere.—Lisa Damour, PhD, author of Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
This is the parenting book that will help your kids grow into the people you want them to be. It’s not just useful—it’s a must-read. Even though I have, on some level, understood the difference between controlling and autonomy-supportive parenting, I have never seen the framework laid out so clearly. Edlynn strikes a really nice balance between discussing the big picture and drilling down into specific contexts and situations, and the suggested scripts are amazing—I have highlighted a bunch to refer back to in the future myself. I will be recommending this book highly for years—it’s one of the best parenting books I’ve read.—Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes
Would-be happier parents: read this! Edlynn’s practical, science-based approach will bring more joy into your day-to-day by offering both the reasoning behind an autonomy-supportive approach and actionable suggestions for getting there.—KJ Dell'Antonia, Author of How to be a Happier Parent
In a world that has taken parenting-as-a-verb to a concerning, and often detrimental extreme, Dr. Edlynn's book offers a rare and refreshing perspective. With psychological science as her guiding principle, Dr. Edlynn invites parents to take a step back, spelling out - in her signature pragmatic and often humorous style - the benefits, both to children and families, of doing so. Weaving together foundational research findings, concrete guidance, and biographical (oh-so relatable!) anecdotes from the parenting trenches, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting is the guide we all need in these difficult times. A child psychologist and mother, I plan to have it on my bedside table for a long time to come.—Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, psychologist, parenting coach, and author of The Tantrum Survival Guide
As a parent of an 8 and an 11-year-old and a psychologist specializing in pa-rental stress, this book hit me right where I live! Edlynn does a remarkable job of translating science-based parenting knowledge into user-friendly strategies to help parents help their children become independent, confident humans. I particularly love how she shares her own warts-and-all parenting stories and devotes separate sections to the challenges of home life, school life, and social life. Autonomy-Supportive Parenting provides a clear rationale for the importance of raising autonomous children and a roadmap for how to do so. I can’t wait to share this important book with my patients!—Ilyse Dobrow Dimarco
This book is for every parent who has had a child refuse to brush their teeth, turn off a screen, or put on pants in the dead of winter. Drawing on the science of autonomy-supportive parenting, relatable stories, commonsense practices, and her warm humor, Dr. Emily Edlynn offers an indispensable guide for every stage of parenting. I might have to hand out copies of this book to every parent in my therapy practice and in my life!—Yael Schonburn, PHD, psychologist, author of Work, Parent, Thrive, and co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock podcast