Love and Freedom

Jorge N. Ferrer's Love and Freedom is a powerful, thought-provoking book, and a very welcome addition to the literature on consensual non-monogamy, and relationships more broadly. Written in a highly engaging and well-informed style, this book contains much of interest to the academic reader while being accessible to activists and general readers as well. Ferrer provides a timely overview on the relationship literature and the ways in which monogamy and polyamory have generally been framed, before heading into binary-busting territory. The divisions between monogamy and non-monogamy, jealousy and compersion, and love and freedom themselves, are all opened up for enjoyable and important exploration and challenge. Drawing on theory and research from biological science through to Buddhist philosophy, Ferrer suggests ways in which we could all occupy more fluid and transbinary positions in relation to love, engage in contemplative practices in order to experience love differently, and cultivate relationships which enable both interconnectedness and personal freedom.

-- Meg-John Barker, author, The Psychology of Sex

Like previous groundbreaking works that have suggested a blurring of established and cherished identity categories, Jorge Ferrer’s Love and Freedom boldly introduces the notion of “relational freedom” into the collective consciousness. The central premise of this book is refreshing: the idea that style of connection—monogamous, polyamorous, even asexual or aromantic—might not be fixed or essential personality categories, but rather stops along a long, personal road, perhaps even (for some) facets of more complicated orientations (e.g., monogamish, ambisexual, or Ferrer’s proposed frame of the fuzzy, liminal, queered relational space of “novogamy”). This provocative volume cuts across multiple politics and investments in a way that might cause both monogamous and nonmonogamous alike to clutch their pearls, and for that alone it is worth the read.

-- Nathan Rambukkana, author, Fraught Intimacies: Non/Monogamy in the Public Sphere

I read this book with a sigh of relief and renewed energy that the study and living of consensual non-monogamies is not heading down the monogamist track of binary, division, fixity and hierarchy. All too soon social movements meant to enlarge and embrace fluidity and possibility in our intimate lives may become entrenched in having to pick a new term for one's relationship and stick to it for life. We know where that too often ends up for too many relationships in coerced monogamy, and we don’t want to repeat that in the exploration of relationship diversity across the lifespan, place, and contexts. Bring on what Jorge calls novogamy with its freedoms and ethics, its possibilities and care!

-- Maria Pallota-Chiarolli, author, Border Sexualities, Border Families in Sch