An Indoor Kind of Girl

That night or a week later, get blackout drunk and think about how unhappy with your life you are. How tired you are of so many of the things you’ve chosen to define yourself by. Why on earth did you cut your bangs like that? Girls like you are becoming lawyers, girls like you have at least been to Europe. All you have is your stupid fucking haircut. Someone at a party describes you as an “indoor kind of girl. ” What does that even mean? You don’t know, but you spend the following week obsessing about it. You watch three seasons of ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ in two days. You get a pet turtle. You absent-mindedly paint what ends up looking like your high school’s football coach, but naked. You go backpacking in Australia for a few months. You try speaking with a New York accent in public, just to see if people like that version of you better. The comment still haunts you. An “indoor kind of girl. ” You feel like you’re that person, but you’re not that person.