Endnotes

Ruth E. Ray was in her forties, teaching writing in a nursing home, when she and one of the residents fell in love. This is their love story, and it is not only unexpected but charming and credible. Paul is a marvelous literary creation and a wonderful person: funny, gentle, open, loving, self-aware. Ray comes across as sensitive to others, careful of herself, unbiased, and unashamed-excellent qualities for a writer and writing-teacher who wanted to become a feminist gerontologist and a passionate advocate for rethinking our relation to older people. This memoir is sui generis. Ray has written something as startling and unflinching as good fiction can be. -- Margaret Morganroth Gullette, author of Aged by Culture and the prize-winning Declining to Decline: Cultural Combat and the Politics of the Midlife This work is part of a well-established narrative tradition in gerontology. It effectively uses the devices of that tradition to illustrate broad themes related to aging and end-of-life care and will raise the emotional awareness and empathy of its readers. -- Amanda Barusch, Department of Social Work and Community Development, University of Otago, New Zealand, author of Love Stories of Later Life: A Narrative Approach to Understanding Romance

Illustrates how the 'meaning' of peoples' lives is constructed in their interactions with others, from childhood through old age. This book sheds light on the negotiation of sexuality and intimacy in old age, communication across disabilities and age groups, the disabling nature of nursing homes, and the experience of death and dying.In the summer of 1996, Ruth Ray, a gerontologist in her forties, befriended an eighty-two-year-old man suffering from Parkinson's. The two remained close until the end of his life, sharing stories and memories while building a deep relationship. Part memoir, part biography, Endnotes explores how people construct meaning through their interactions with others. With grace and wit, Ray situates her friend's past experiences and present relationships within the theories and literature of gerontology, providing a deeper understanding of autonomy at the end of life. She also delves into the complexities of sexuality and intimacy in old age, communication across disabilities and age groups, the disabling nature of nursing homes, and the trials of death and dying. Writing as both a woman and a gerontologist, Ray finds that the "quality of care" we provide for others requires not only an understanding of the relationships that have given a person's life meaning but also a willingness to accept and share deeply in the emotional process of physical and mental decline.